Couple don't communicate in the era of communications

Couples don't communicate in the era of communication technology. This situation, as paradoxical as real, is caused by the so-called 'technoaddiction', part of the category of behavioural addictions.

"This type of addiction is seen by the World Health Organization as a disease. Excessive use of cell phones, tablets and computers is interfering in couples and creating conflicts between them. Before feelings used to fade a little after a year, now the affective part begins to deteriorate after six months, "said Daniel Reyes, director of Peace Foundation in the Way.

Among patients with addictive problems have been addressed in the aforementioned foundation, it is the case of a couple who was about to throw away 18 years of marriage by excessive cell phone use.

During the day the working man driving a van at night when I got home I used to stick the phone to balance his schedule and chat I could not talk during the day to go at the wheel. This aroused pathological jealousy of his wife, who felt displaced by the phone.

"Many husbands who stay up late with the cell, develop a static hyperactivity, are quiet but have inner compulsions that may cause aggression," says Reyes.

Jealousy is that when the face-to-face communication is over, arises, grows the fear that the partner is unfaithful and your phone addiction is due to the desire to get in touch with her lover.

"There are people that put key to your phone and that makes things worse, because they give the feeling of something hidden, it is assumed that nothing should, nothing to fear, although it is true that we must handle individuality," says psychologist Maria Helena Navarro, a specialist in Family Social Processes, University of Cartagena.

He adds that although it should respect each other's space, "this same individuality reaches where the relationship is not harmed."

Bedtime is best put aside the phone and talk. Dialogue is the best therapy to relieve the burdens of the day.

Enable access to social networks and emails it is, according to the specialist Navarro, an act of transparency with the other.

"Nor should we fall into the habit of being 'captive' their messages all the time or answer for it, and this is a disease and is desperate to be with a paranoid person," she says.

Excess -Whatsapp roads, mail, social-networking can also generate an attachment and a controller of the couple effect, so "it is necessary to be aware of how far to go with the media," said Maria Elena Lopez, a specialist in family therapy with couples.

"The idea is that (communication tools) in the service of both partners to strengthen and not to have more power over the other. You can not become a way of monitoring the other, "she says.

The night is sacred

It is well known that dialogue is essential in a relationship. At night it is necessary to seize the opportunity of dinner and bedtime to discuss how you did the other day.

"If you establish a relationship with someone who has the capability of closeness, intimacy, sharing and indulge in dialogue and communication, or someone who prefers to devote time to other things, what kind of shared life you might have with so someone next to you? "asks the father Alberto Linero.

Compulsive acts are practices that control the life of the person. To avoid problems in the relationship should be defined both times in which the couple can call during working hours and times when it is possible to answer the phone when you are sharing time together.

"The truth is that we can turn our ally and use technology to get closer, have fun, learn and expand the universe of the couple and not make it a cause of confrontation, distance and separation in some cases," concludes López specialist.

Tips for success in love at this age

Set limits on what it says chat 

not use technologies to discuss important things Use them only to solve simple issues of everyday life.

Build on trust 

Put bases its report on the dialogue and trust to not have to walk spying cell and pages of their partner.

Indirect zero by social networks 

that networks serve to share with the important people the good times, not to publish hints about the problems.

Set aside devices 

Have moments of sharing and dialogue in which there is no chat, mail, phones and tablets, so that nothing can distract them from being together.

Do not be fooled by the web 

often beliefs and paradigms that are shown in the networks are ideal not met in reality, generating conflict with each other.

Speaking expert

"Many couples complain that the other hears but does not listen, because you are always looking at the phone when you speak, because browsing the Internet or forever because it has made a world apart in social networks.

However, not all cases are equal. There are couples where there is a technological balance, that is, one is a fervent lover of technology and the other not.There are others in which neither can be drawn from this technological world and their relationship becomes a virtual love affair that ends up blurring reality and cause a lot of frustration, "says Maria Elena Lopez, a specialist in family therapy with couples.